


Crackers in Bed

by zsomeone



Category: Metalocalypse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-29
Updated: 2012-03-29
Packaged: 2018-03-16 23:27:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3506675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zsomeone/pseuds/zsomeone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I was thinking about that line “I wouldn’t throw her out of bed for eating crackers” and my brain mutated it (as it does.) <br/>Nathan experiments to find out if Charles will throw him out of bed for eating crackers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Crackers in Bed

Charles woke to a repetitive crunching noise. A slight shifting told him that some one was on or in his bed, and he’d gone to bed alone. He was instantly alert but not very worried, anyone who meant him harm would have acted by now, and silently. Squinting at the clock, he saw it was just after 3am. Charles clicked on his lamp and rolled to face his uninvited guest.

“Oh you’re awake! Hi. I’m uh, eating crackers.” Nathan held up the box to illustrate his point. He was sitting propped against the headboard with his legs under the covers.  
“I see that. _Why_ are you eating crackers in my bed?” Hopefully Nathan had taken his boots off before climbing into the bed, but maybe that was too much to hope for.

“Well, when somebody’s hot, like chicks or whoever, you say you wouldn’t kick them out of bed for eating crackers? It’s like the ultimate cracker test. And I’ve, you know, really let myself go... I just wanted to find out if I can still pass the cracker test.”  
“Why me? Out of all the beds you could have chosen to eat in, why mine?” That was the part Charles just couldn’t figure out. “Besides, that saying is usually applied to people you want to sleep with.”

“I figured they’d all lie! Fan girls, you know? And you wouldn’t.”  
“I suppose that makes a little sense. So you’re saying that if I ask you to leave for eating crackers in my bed in the middle of the night, you’ll be upset?”  
“Yeah! I might even be depressed or something.”

Charles sighed, he _really_ needed his sleep. “Okay Nathan, I’m _not_ kicking you out of bed for eating crackers. I’m kicking you out of bed because I need to sleep.”  
“But it’s not because of the crackers?”  
“Definitely not because of the crackers.”  
“Cool!” Nathan got out of the bed (fortunately shoeless) and set the box of crackers on the nightstand.

“Nathan, aren’t you taking your crackers with you?”  
“Uh, no. I like chip’s way better, you can keep them.” Mission accomplished, he let himself out.  
Charles turned off the lamp. The bed was big enough that the many crumbs should stay on that side, he’d just make a note for his sheets to be changed in the morning.   
He slept.


End file.
